Weakness in the heartless me

Jan
02

wilting

I realized my weakness. It was frustrating and I hate such feeling that dwells in me. I thought I was heartless. Even if I do have one, it must be stone hard.

He have prompted the talk. It was a revisited conversation. The last time, it was I who probed the issue. Do I see myself with him for the next 12 months? Yes. This time, he wanted to know what I was expecting of him. What are my thoughts of us. Honestly, I had not expecting anything of him, for I know I was pretty unsettled for now. Furthermore, I do not want to hurt him as much as getting myself hurt.

However.

Though I did expect I would be hurt at some point, I had underestimated the magnitude of that emotional turn. Dammit. He said those lines before me. That was probably it.

Lost, I am. I have also lost the battle I thought it was a sure win-win for both of us. Now, I may only wish when the time comes that I let go of this, may I retain that feeling that made me feel like human.

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