Contemporary

I, the Passionista

I have so much to ask, but the selfless me kept me quiet. I loathe every moment of that. I really do. It seems so cowardly and I hate cowards as much as hypocrites.

I have so much to look forward to, but the fear of being alone kept me away from those ambitions and dreams. Fear tends to fail me, but what’s more to say if I can’t overcome this myself… alone? Fear is not born by itself. Not something that drops down from the sky. I shall make a point to tell myself to keep my spine strong so that such fear does not bend me over.

I think myself as simple, yet there is the little me who covet the act of being spoilt. In fact, I am beginning to love that. It is like an unspoken favour accomplished with the absence of incentives given back. But, why is it that the person who spoils me most is not the person I desire for to do me that favour? What if this is a selfish materialistic part of me afterall? sigh…

I have so much in mind to do. The passion that floods me sometimes I think I might drown in my own passion. Be fatigue due to my own drive to success. But the positivity that outshines the negativity usually keeps me perking and breaks my fall if any. It is a good thing, thank goodness.

My mind - so messed up today. It is as if one left helming alone in the middle of an ocean, overwhelmed with directions to pick. Too many of them. Is it too much to ask for a better tomorrow?