An unavailable singlehood
I have found that almost perfect man as my partner. Almost perfect. If it was only perfect. It is not what he lacks of physically or habitually. Neither does he have any intolerable personality that I cannot compromise. Simply, it is the situation where both of us are unavailable.
Reflecting on the past six months since I knew him and dated him, those times with him were beautiful. Everything that he has fits to what I look for in a man. We complement each other. Down to the fact that we were also unavailable to each other.
I think I have done it again. It is one of those that interacts with the others. Wrong time, wrong choice or wrong action. This time, I think it was right choice and action at the wrong time. I simply had a man who I want to have a relationship with at the wrong time. It is getting more meaningful every passing moments we had shared and such events are getting more emotional challenging as time passes by. I have this strong gut feeling that this is not going to work by the end of next year. Yet, I try to swallow up that feeling believing that if I try every possible way to continue this, it will work.
Why are we unavailable when we were both single once and now we are exclusive? Him: He has just applied for his PR and his personal life priorities. Her: I am on a student’s visa when I met him and I have passion for my career goals. We are both selfish to our dreams and priorities. How could we let this happen in the first place?
This relationship is like a stick with a weight on it. We pour in more effort, the weight increases… After some time the stick starts to crack. By the end of next year, it will break.
Damn, I should have told him I was unavailable 6 months ago…